And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
