Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My ass is underappreciated
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
