I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
