Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
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