I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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