wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize