An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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