Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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