You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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