Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
