your parents love me but you hate me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
