i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
