He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
