Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
