can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
