Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
