it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
