so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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