I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
NoShamevember. You game?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
