and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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