doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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