Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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