i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
