I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
