the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
