My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
