I hate all girls vehemently.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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