so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your penis caused this!
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