do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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