all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
