I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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