I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
