i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
