I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
