i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
