oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
