So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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