his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
