her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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