When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
