im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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