i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
