He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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