six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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