I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
