He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize