Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
