Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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