Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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