dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
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he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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