that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
