It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
