Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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