Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
