It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
