Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
