did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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