i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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