fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
