Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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